The Secret Life of Pets (2016) Review

I have confession to make: I'm not a fan of Illumination Entertainment. Their films are largely uninspired crowd-pleasers and a step down in quality for animated family movies. They just play it safe and don't offer much, except those pill-shaped nuisances called Minions. This is why I wasn't looking forward to their latest entry, The Secret Life of Pets. The trailers pretty much suggested to me that it's just going to keep following up in mediocrity. Unsurprisingly, it is.

In this movie, a dog named Max (voiced by Louis C.K.) is living a happy life with his owner. That is, until a big, hairy dog named Duke (Eric Stonestreet) comes into his life. Fearful that Duke is going to take over his life, Max tries to get him kicked out. This antic leads them to get lost in the city. They must put their differences aside in order to get back home.

If this plot is sounding familiar to you, it's a poor man's Toy Story. The gimmick of pets doing secret things while their owners are gone is also the same as Toy Story (and The Brave Little Toaster). It even includes the subplot of their friends looking for them like in Toy Story 2, and a villain who was left out and gone insane like Lotso from Toy Story 3. Imagine all of the three installments combined into one movie, except that the main characters are pets. Unlike the film's detractors, though, I'm not going to hold that against it. If I did, I might as well criticize A Bug's Life for being a rip-off of Seven Samurai or The Incredibles for being a rip-off of Watchmen. What matters the most is its execution and how well-done it is in terms of story, characters, and other things.

I'll have to say that Max and Duke serve as nice foils to each other. Max is a small dog who is fun-loving but possessive, while Duke is a big dog who is a little reckless, but happy enough to have an owner. They work off of each other decently, and seeing them put aside their differences, while predictable, is also done okay.

However, I felt that the movie jumped the gun way too fast in terms of Max's jealousy and hostility towards Duke. They've only known each other for one day, and Max is already plotting to have Duke kicked out. At least Toy Story showed time going by as Woody's life is taken over by Buzz, therefore we see the justification, even if he came off as a little unlikable. This one just has no problem in quickly progressing the plot just so they don't bore the kiddies.

The supporting cast is hit-or-miss. Gidget the Pomeranian is probably the most interesting of the bunch and Jenny Slate gave the best performance. She is a pampered dog who also has an aggressive side when she's pushed. Oh, and she has a crush on Max just to give her some motivation. I also found the hawk, Tiberius (Albert Brooks) slightly entertaining, as he is just a lonely bird driven by his killer instincts. However, he doesn't benefit much from the story after handing in information. He just tags along afterwards.

I'm going to have to say the same with the other pets who join the search party. The rest of them are just two-dimensional characters who wouldn't make much of a difference if they were written out. I think they're just there to be part of the merchandising of the movie. Also, why is Tara Strong reduced to just voicing the parakeet who doesn't form words? That's just a waste of talent right there, but no, the movie needs another celebrity's name to put in the advertisements.

Then there is the main villain, a rabbit named Snowball (voiced by Kevin Hart). He was once a pet who wants revenge on mankind because he was neglected. He can be friendly, while also being cuckoo in the head. If I have to give this movie credit for something, it's that the animators did a good job in switching between his two personalities with his facial animations. Other than that, he's not that interesting as a villain. His constant shouting can get grating, but thankfully he's not as annoying compared to the Minions from Despicable Me.

Speaking of the animation, yes, it is well-done. It features some great shots of New York in animated form, looking all bright and colorful, making Pets a pleasant movie to look at. This greatly contrasted with the darkly-lit sewers, showing how unsettling the location is.

I also love the designs of the pets. I mean, just look at the fur on each of the characters; they look like you can touch them. Their designs are so varied, that if they were in silhouette, you can still tell them apart. It's easy to tell that the animators worked their butts off to make a nicely-detailed movie. However, visuals can only take The Secret Life of Pets so far, and there are things besides the hit-or-miss characters that bring it down for me.

First off, it wasn't funny. It's bad enough that the trailers gave away their jokes like the poodle who switches music (not that I found them funny in the first place), there were many that I just saw coming, which took away from the experience. On top of that, many of the jokes were more aimed towards children. There's some toilet humor here and there, like Snowball making rabbit droppings after doing his evil laugh.There's also some slapstick humor, like characters getting launched in the air and thudding, that more or less feel forced rather than funny.

Next, some of the dramatic moments feel more tacked on rather than natural. Without spoiling anything, there is something revealed at the end of the second act, but it's glossed over just to make room for the climax. It's not even discussed again afterwards, which is a missed opportunity in fully developing Max and Duke's relationship.

Lastly, there is no sense of danger. The duo just have it easy, even though they're out in the streets with a chance of animal control or Snowball capturing them. Yeah, they encounter a couple of dangerous animals, but they weren't even close to being intimidating.

I think the animal control guys would have been very threatening secondary antagonists if done right. Instead of making them slightly incompetent and easily losing the dogs, why not actually make them put up a fight or show determination? That can at least give the audience and the main characters a feeling of dread, knowing that animal control is not to be messed with if they come across them again.

In conclusion, I didn't like The Secret Life of Pets. However, it is not on the same level of annoyance that The Angry Birds Movie was, which is a good thing I can say about it. I found it to be a nice-looking and harmless, but mediocre movie.

The high-quality animation cannot save it from a pedestrian story, lack of memorable characters (except Gidget; she's fine), and unfunny comedy. I don't like to use the term "kids movie," because if it offers something for adults as well, then "family movie" is the proper term. Pets just left me with nothing. This is one that is geared more towards children. It's a shame since this is a step down from better animated films this year like Zootopia and Finding Dory. Those two films were not just well-written, but they managed to offer something for both children and adults. Audiences deserve better than this. The Secret Life of Pets is...

HEAVILY FLAWED

If you're looking for a movie to watch on the big screen with the family, save your money for something better. Go see Finding Dory again, or better yet, go see The BFG, which is struggling at the box office right now.